Why take 5mins, when 3hrs will do ?

I came down with an infection at the start of the week. Normally I’m the sort of guy that has to be dying before I go to a doctor or take pills. As I’m off on a vacation to the middle of nowhere in Indonesia Borneo I felt “better safe than sorry”. So arrive at my local International Clinic at 9:30am fully expecting to be done by 10am. Let’s be honest, in the UK NHS I’d wait 1-2hrs past my appointment time ( if I was lucky) before seeing a doctor. Then I’d have a 2min consultation where I’d be told “ Take these antibiotics and come back in a week or so if not better”. Well not at an International ‘Insurance’ based clinic. I’m seen on the dot of 9:30am. Blood pressure, temperature, blood oxygen all tested. Tell the doctor my condition, Even told him I just need antibiotics but he felt I was wrong. I needed more tests. Blood & urine. Now blood - generally there is not an issue getting blood from me. Lots of veins and free flowing blood. Not for this nurse. She’s leaning over me, sweating with a mixture of panic & embarrassment as waggles the needle in my arm and she can’t get blood to flow. A second colleague appears to help. Then the boss nurse. Her tongue lashes them, then in a curse says the tube is already blocked. So she takes over. She then tells me I have juicy veins on the back of my hand and says “Don’t worry - just another mosquito bite”. Urine - what can go wrong - nothing really - except they use an aerosol air freshener before I enter the bathroom so I can’t breathe and there, next to the toilet, was a hand sized spider !  

Practical Chinese. When I tell them, they say don’t worry, it’s not poisonous and it eats the insects ! Impressively the results are back in 30mins. Not surprising - I have signs of infection! Good stuff this science. He’s worried my organs could be infected - so now ultrasound! The clinic is linked to a local hospital so all the equipment is available, so I guess they like using it. First person can’t see anything wrong, calls for a second opinion. The second opinion calls for a third opinion. While this is going on a little kid with flowers in his hair and a lollipop in his mouth runs in and out of the room to watch. Third option says I might have an inflamed kidney. Well this is all my Doctor needs to send me for a CT scan - told you they had all the kit & liked using it ! Nothing significantly wrong on the CT scan. So diagnosis? Take some antibiotics and come back if it doesn’t improve !